Anne here -
Before we start, I know I've talked about this subject before but I bring it up again because I just published something again and it's at the back of my mind. I absolutely hate social media. Do I have multiple accounts across nearly all of them? Yeah. Except discord. Fuck discord.
It isn't that I don't like using different platforms, but I absolutely hate selling myself on them. I'm not good at it and I don't want to pay to have my shit out there, promo style, because it makes me feel cheap and discouraged when nothing comes of it. I have used promo things on sites like Instagram but it was basically like a normal post of mine. I reached about ten people, and no one interacted.
I get not wanting to interact because I rarely do unless it's on my personal Facebook page or on an author page of mine if someone asks a question. Even behind a screen I can't be bothered to make connections I know won't last. Fleeting feelings hit harder than real ones sometimes and I've had enough of barely there connections that end up being nothing or worse, end up being something that I screw up and push away. Now I know that seems a bit extreme for social media issues. It's purpose is basically to sell yourself, connect with the past, and/or create those fleeting feelings that push you to chase dopamine in the form of buying things or seeing pretty pictures that make you jealous and rethink your entire life.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is I wish I didn't have to use social media, especially Instagram, to promote myself and my work. The world has changed a lot in the last few decades I've been here and I didn't prepare myself when I was a young teenager for how much I would need and use platforms like those. I can still remember making my Facebook account when it first started (showing my age, I know) and I wish I could go back to that time and scream at my younger self to not do it.
Though, if I'm going back in time, I know I would change a whole lot more than just that one thing. But I think my life would be better without it. I think of dissolving everything aside from the writing sites I use and staying underground in the internet world. Then I think of the main way I talk to my sister, and that's through Facebook messenger, which I never figured out because we have each other's phone numbers, but we've literally never used them to text each other. I think of the friends I do still have and I know that the only way I can keep in touch with them is through certain sites. Social media has a choke hold on me and I can't get out of its grasps any time soon.
Plus, if it weren't for some of them, I wouldn't have the few people that have bought and read my works, and for that I am grateful. It's a double edged sword and I take both sides some days. Cut up and raw, I know I'll be trapped in the world wide web for a long time.
I know this wasn't an interesting blog post, but the holidays are coming up and I feel myself getting slower and more dull as it does. My writing seems to be taking different turns, all at the same time, and stuff like this, no matter how small it is, gives me a small comfort. The routine of it helps when there is too much going on in the real world. In a sense, social media helps me with that too. It's a needed distraction for when I can't take the real world.
I used books and TV to escape as a kid, and I still do, I just find myself on my phone and computer more often, thrown into another world, wishing my reality was just a little easier to deal with. The web is sticky and welcoming, and I find myself a fly, struggling against the threads, but knowing I will never escape and trying to make the best of it.
Until the next nonsense post, thanks for reading!