Low Battery Alert

Anne here!


This is probably going to be another rant blog, but when you get another stressful week, this is all the time I have to give to it. Lucky you!


Is anyone else the type of introvert that can only deal with a finite amount of socialization and face to face energy spending? Maybe that's all introverts.


I'm talking about having to be on the phone on and off all day, putting on a good voice, your 'customer service voice' and dealing with trash people who should have gotten things done on time instead of wasting your time. Having to deal with random middle aged white men calling you darling and sweetheart in the most gross tone of voice, and while I know it's because I'm in the south they do this, but it makes my skin crawl.


Can I say anything about it? No. Not if I don't want them to call and complain and get me written up. While I know my boss is understanding, she's also in a different generation (cough - boomer - cough) and she would just say it's a product of the environment and that it's their way of being polite. It's gross regardless, even if she thinks it's acceptable.


Now, back to the low battery topic that maybe help you click on this blog to begin with. This last week and the week before, I have noticed that my mental battery has decline much more than usual. I'm not sure if it's just because I have constant work right now, during my busy season, or if it's because my depression has been bad this month or not, but my battery has been crashing before the middle of the day. The hours have dragged on and my mind seems to go with it. I'm more scattered brained, memory fails, and I fall harder on myself during these slow days.


It's not just the lack of energy, mental or otherwise, it's the amount of guilt I've been feeling for no damn reason. I don't know if this is just job stress or something bigger. I understand that I have to do things in my job that I won't like, things that will stress me out, but something will need to give soon.


My maladaptive daydreaming is getting worse, or at least happening more, which I guess is the same thing. My escapism helps only so much during the day and it gets in the way of the job I'm supposed to be doing but it helps my battery recharge, at least enough to get through the rest of the day. I know it's not the end of the world to daydream at work but it's the want for that world to be real, that's distracting. The want for a different life just because mine sucks right now is a headspace I should not be in but I can't help it because I need somewhere to recharge.


Finding the right headspace to escape your stress is fine but you can't let it run your life. I feel like I'm towing that line pretty close. I've found myself getting upset that I can't sit and be in that world or write about things in that world and I have to watch myself because it can effect the people around me. While I can't get rid of this dreamworld I like to escape to, I can control how I act outside of it. My next coming weeks will be filled with more stress and that won't go away, even out side of work, but at least I can control the way I handle it


I'm not sure where this post was going, but I feel better after typing all of this. I feel like I could get into my writing projects and actually get things done. I don't like it when my writing feels like a burden and I know it's only because of the outside forces showing me that this part of my life isn't as important as the parts that make money for my family. Forcing that voice to be quiet is the best thing I can do, and if I can do it enough, then I can get my projects done and maybe I'll be happier for it.


Sorry if you thought this blog post would be interesting or informative, but you got trapped in another rant post, that I'm only half sorry for posting!


Stay safe, and happy reading!


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